There is a healing power in beauty, to one sensitive.
To me, little is more beautiful than dark barren trees, silhouette against a gray, winter sky. I saw such, again, this morning, around four o’clock. Their naked, gnarled arms, frozen in some horrid agony, their crippled, crooked hands, screaming to the bleak, empty heavens expressed my sentiments perfectly. It is a wonderful feeling, always. The barren trees are elegant, unburdened with the glory of life, but only by its memory.
eek-say na kahn, they cried out.
eek-say na kahn
And then the wind came. It moved through the trees. It touched them.
I knew it was an answer. It was a perfect answer. The Creator came.
hahk-eye u-nuh nuh’ soo-kai they said.
So, it was a simple, Comanche moment for me. A simple encounter with the Creator. I was like, praying outside myself, through Nature. It was enough. It was all that was necessary.
I shall compose an Indian song on this simple experience.
The day before I had another cancer treatment, so, I’m usually quite spiritually hyper after such. Comes with the territory, they say. My doctor said I was a very complicated case. “You’re not making my life easy!” he smiled. We’ve change chemotherapy three times, and will change a fourth time later this month. I haven’t had a mesothelioma treatment since early December. That tells me it must be in remission. We’ve treated lymphoma all January. We’ll have a CAT scan in a week or so, and see about it.
The last treatment I had (for lymphoma) was given after blood tests and vitals. Everything was perfect, best since we’ve started all this. Blood pressure up and normal, blood counts top shape. Incredible, since I feel like I’m dying, literally. No energy at all. Now, how can a person feel like he’s dying, when he isn’t?! This medicine gets to you, after a while! I’d even gained three or four pounds, and not even eating well.
I do not know how long this treatment will go on, but I think it will end soon. I know God promised me in July that I would come out on the other side, “with great substance,” as it were. All things would turn around. It was a promise with a miraculous signification. I am confident. I know that, in the midst of the darkness, it is easy, almost natural, to forget the promise of God, even when it was given in your face. (I would have made a perfect Israelite in the wilderness, for sure. But, I shouldn’t flatter myself so. I’m just an Oklahoma Indian, amidst great beauty, and deep relish for the Creator.)
I don’t know what to make of the country, of America, these days. It only makes me disappointed and angry. My great and mighty enemy is becoming nothing, before my eyes. Land of the free? Now it has become the land of cowards and traitors.
I shall have to return to the trees, and pray again!
Perhaps the wind will return, and heal.
this is my place (house, where I dwell)
how are you?